Hello Darkness My Old Friend...

 

“Hello Darkness My Old Friend.”

By

Scott Casteel

 

In the secrecy of darkness, I peek in her window. Nothing seems noticeably amiss. I see a 30 something female sitting on the end of the couch closest to the front door. I explain to Bob, since we do not know what we are walking into, I will make entry first.  Bob had seen my patrol car while I was sitting in the dark on the side of the road.  Concerned for his daughter-in-law’s welfare he asked me to follow him to her house. As I enter, the woman on the couch turns and smiles but does not get up. He addresses her as “sweetheart.” She smiles again. Dressed in loose fitting sweats, her brown coiffed hair is slightly disheveled as if she had just finished scratching the back of her head. She is alert and noticeably calm. We make eye contact.

 “Evenin’. I’m Deputy Casteel with the Sheriff’s Office.  What’s your name? “

“Gertrude.”

“What is going on tonight that has your father-in-law so concerned?”

“I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. The empty bottle is on the counter, in the kitchen.”

Standing between her and the front door, I motion to Bob. Returning from the kitchen, he hands me an empty bottle. I read the label; Vitameatavegamin, 200 mg, quantity 30. “Ma’am?! These were prescribed today. How long ago did you take them?”

“When I called my father-in-law.”

Bob, looking at his phone, “9:47. It has been about an hour.”

I contact my dispatch, assure her of my safety and request paramedics for a possible overdose.

While chatting on the radio, I look around the room. The house is clean but lived in with evidence of unread mail, half eaten macaroni and cheese still drying on the dinner dishes and family photographs on the wall.  I ask about the children.

“They are asleep in their rooms.” 

I glance over at Bob. He nods and heads towards some closed doors. A few moments later, with a relaxed countenance, he returns.

 

I explain to Gertrude that the paramedics are on their way. She tells me she understands, and she will go to the hospital, willingly.

I ask, “what happened today that you took all those pills?”

“I am bi-polar. My highs and lows alter very quickly. Sometimes it can be as little as two weeks. My highs are extremely high and lows are extremely low.”

“Where are you in your cycle right now” I ask?

She tells me she is in the peak of a high cycle. “That is why I went to the doctor. I cannot sleep. When I cannot sleep, I hallucinate and sometimes I hear voices.”

“Are you hearing voices now?”

“Yes.”

“What are they saying?” I think to myself if they are saying “KILL THE POLICE! KILL THE POLICE!” I am going to respond so much differently if they are saying “He looks like Fozzy Bear get him a cookie.”

“I don’t know. They are speaking Spanish.”

“Do you not understand Spanish?”

“No!” She hesitates for a moment. “Actually, they are mariachis. I started hearing the mariachis very early yesterday morning. It became unbearable, so I went to my doctor. He prescribed the Vitameatavegamin. I held off all day. I did not want to take them with my husband out of town. But finally, I gave in and went to Walgreens and had them filled. When I got home, I took one. With my mind racing, I think if one is good, then two is better. Well, I thought. If two are better, then 30 must be awesome. So I took the whole bottle. That is when I called my father-in-law.”

I see a tear welling up. I listened more intently to what she was saying.

“I don’t want to cause any harm to myself. But when I am in my hyperactive state, I often engage in reckless behavior.” She pauses “Deputy, please please understand. Honest, I had no intention of hurting myself. I just wanted the mariachis to go away.”

I look straight into her eyes and say “Ma’am, next time just tip them a couple of bucks. They’ll leave.”

She smiled, hmmmphed a little giggle as Bob opened the door and let in the paramedics.

 

“Hey fella’s this is Gertrude. She is having a bad night.” Handing them the bottle, I brief them and step out of their way.

Bob thanks me with a handshake. She is loaded into the ambulance. Knowing she is in good hands, I quietly made my way once again, back into the safety and solitude of the darkness.